Jackie Boy

Three years ago today, my Dad arrived to chauffeur myself and Sloane to a uniquely special event.

Destination: Northside Hopsital - my twin sister was to become a Mother.

Sloane went along because she was only 2 and 1/2 weeks old and obviously still nursing and needing to be near her Mommy. Thankfully, I felt wonderful and was in good shape to be whatever Bek needed.

I arrived at the hospital expecting to have a job, an assignment of some sort. . . but instead found a very calm and capable woman. She was thrilled that I was there but was already in her element. There she was, propped up in her bed with a gorgeous glow on her face. I watched her listening to the nurse, taking advice and instruction, conferring with David and greeting her visitors. Quickly, this picture made it all too clear to me - she needed no additional help.

Here was a woman who had been waiting for this day for years and had walked alongside her sister and sister-in-laws during countless deliveries. She was poised and ready and I was proud because I expected this, or at least I should have.

A few short hours later, Jackson Foster Vepraskas arrived and you've never seen more bliss than we found on David and Beka's faces when we walked into the room. He was perfect, whole and undoubtedly a clone of his father. We all were completely overcome by this little guy at the start, from his daddy's nose to his adorable toes he was precious, just precious.

Baby Jack, we couldn't get enough of this sweet one!

Here's a moment that I will carry forever, where Rebekah and David looked on as Andrew and I savored our new little nephew.

As the days and weeks passed I felt pangs of guilt. . .that I was unable to be there for Beka the way she had been there for me. When Audrey was born Rebekah was on-leave from Delta and spent most every day, on my couch, holding Audg and oohing and ahhing over each little move she made. Best friends were never closer than those two. I wanted to love Jack like that and be his 2nd Mommy, but found myself torn between the gift of a nephew and my own 2 children that consumed my time and even more of my energy.

Jack must have sensed my dilemma and knew the simple fix - in the last year he decided that I looked more like a "Mia" than an "Aunt Mary", I have been renamed and love that!! He is elated when he sees me, regularly calls to sing "You are my Mia, my only Mia" and he's plain crazy about my girls, his sisters. Each time we are together, he asks if he can go home with us and my heart swells with love for this little guy who longs to be with his aunt and cousins.

I feel a great sense of relief and peace now, no guilt because we are equally vested in each other's children. Isn't it nice when some things just take care of themselves??!! Beka's boys might as well be mine and likewise. I have become a regular "baby-sitting Mia" and have decided that Decatur is not nearly as far away as my gas gauge thinks it is. I go there and she comes here and we don't let the distance separate us. We're committed to family and to each other's angels.

Jack's two favorite things, his Blankie and Audrey!!! :)

I love you, Jack and hope that not just today but every day you know how much we love you and are grateful for the profound difference you have made in our lives.

Forever changed,

-your Mia