Did they eat well?
Do they have on enough sunscreen?
Are they watching too much Disney Channel?
You know. It's a little bit simpler.
They don't talk back (that much) and you are a stickler with 'first time obedience'.
As they grow and mature, they begin to develop their own thoughts and feelings and you cheer them on as you watch them lay the foundation to independence. It's supposed to be a good thing. Only problem is that before long, a little thing called entitlement sets in like an ugly rash.
That has happened around here in the last few months but it's probably been building for quite some time. (Unlike my childhood where any extra thing could brighten my week and make me grateful. For example, a trip to the pool, a rare outing to eat at McDonald's, an even more rare trip to Six Flags or a sleepover with my cousins.) I never expected any of these things and I guess that's the biggest difference.
In our attempt to provide an abundant, full childhood for our girls, I'm afraid we have spoiled them and that certainly was NOT the goal. They expect to have sleepovers with their peeps on a regular basis (even when they haven't been invited). They expect to eat out at their whim. They expect to be able to decide what toppings we order on our pizza. I want to do nice things for them because I love them, not because they're going to flip out when we can't for some reason or even worse, we can and they fully expect that we will, without any gratitude.
And, honestly - while I applaud their ability to "find their voice". I'm sick and tired of arguing with my kids, especially my precocious, social butterfly to the hilt, almost 9 year old. She makes me tired as I'm sure that one day, she'll make an incredible defense attorney.
I was never a fan of Nellie Olsen and maybe that sort of says it all.
For now, I'm working on cultivating my chickens and keeping them close at home. No more sleepovers, no more eating out, no more entitlement. Praying they'll learn to appreciate more and expect less and maybe, just maybe - - Bloom where they are planted, right here in my nest.
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6
4 comments:
I get this completely, Mary! We're always reminding our girls to be content in any and every situation--whether well fed or hungry--whether living in plenty or in want. It's an uphill battle we're fighting, for sure. But it's a hill we're willing to die on. Love ya, girl!
Albert here, saying "you go girl"! I remember it was a treat to go to McDonalds, and I used to pitch in my own money just so I could upgrade to the Big Mac :)
Gosh I needed this. What a great post Mary, thank you for sharing. Love you.
This is so sweet and at the same time strong. I know you can make the special occasions mean more and simplify. Off to simplify more myself!
I love you,
Bek
(Love Albert's (Zach's) comment. I did the same thing, I think. Big Mac's were always my fave.) :)
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